"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." — Inigo Montoya

Here's a thing I started as a draft and didn't post in 2018.  I'm going to stop thinking so much and just post anecdotes even if they're not finished.

Hello, internet!  Hello, 2019!

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Set the stage - it's approximately 4:30 pm on a weekday in the summer.  I'm leaving the locker room at work & headed out the side door to grab my bike from the rack to commute home.  I'm wearing a particularly bright Vanderkitten shave ice kit.  It's fluorescent yellow, pink & blue.  I like being seen in traffic, and between this and an obnoxious random pattern blinky light, they get the job done.

Usually I get out the back door unnoticed.  But not today.  I've been spotted.  It's kinda hard not to get a comment when you're wearing fluorescent rainbow spandex.  At that point, you just have to own it.  You are now a Zebra that has been spotted on safari by a jeep full of tourists.

Coworker:  "Wowwww, you look so professional!"
Me:  "Wait, what?"
Coworker:  "Your outfit.  You look like a professional."
Me:  "Ummmm, I think you mean I look good, or maybe matchy?"
Coworker:  "Can I take a picture with you?"
Me:  "Yeah!"  :::poses w/ coworker, throws peace sign and a big smile:::  hops on bike to commute home.

I occasionally dazzle the non-cycling layperson whenever they see me or hear about my accomplishments.  Accomplishments that I am extremely proud of, not to belittle anything here, but in very amateur level fields.  Please don't call me a professional cyclist, that's just embarrassing for everyone involved.

On the other end of the spectrum, this conversation also took place:

Coworker:  "Hey nice cat outfit!"
Me:  "Uh...." 
get that elitist thought out of your brain.  they were trying to be nice and have literally no idea what a cycling kit is.  don't_you_dare....
Coworker:  "You know - that cat shirt you were wearing the other day when you went biking, it was really bright!"
Me:  "Thanks!" 
now wave and smile!  :::waves & smiles:::  there, was that so hard?  :::virtual face palm in my mind:::  you did the right thing, good job.

I started thinking, I obviously don't have life sponsors, but if an advertisement for my life was subtitled, it would go something like this:

Jen's life 2018, made possible in part by:

Coffee Craving
Polar Seltzer
Run Fast Eat Slow / Run Fast Cook Fast Eat Slow (Cookbooks)
Robin Farina's Mad Coaching Skills (Actual Pro Cyclist)
Gordo's Fish Tacos (w/ jalapenos & a side of guac)
Colonial Bicycle Company
Susanne Delaney - Personal Advisor & Doppleganger
Tim Young - Amazon Personal Shopper
NH's 18 Miles of Scenic Coastline along Route 1A
NECX
Safety Pins
Lobster Rolls
Maple Syrup
Puppies
Alpaca Wool Socks
Clever Off-The-Cuff Puns
Hare Brained Schemes
Daydreams
Adventures
Naps on the Deck
Peanut Butter Sauce
The Internet